The Vandals: Oi to the World!

Review # 74
Artist: The Vandals
Title: Oi to the World!
Format: CD
Label: Kung Fu Records
Year: 1996
Songs: 12




The Vandals, a long-running (but inconsistent) joke-punk band from southern California, released what may be the only full-length punk rock Christmas album in the mid-90s, well after their prime. I actually don't really like the Vandals, at least not as they exist today. Their early work features some great moments of 80s punk,  but if I understand correctly, the only person still involved with the band from those days is the drummer. In the years between their early 80s releases and the time this record came out, the Vandals changed from jokey hardcore to fairly generic 90s pop punk with "funny" lyrics. The Vandals weren't always clever even in the early days--some of their songs were hilarious, but others, like so many punk bands from their era, relied on shock value more than actually being funny. Call me a prude, but sometimes the Vandals' songs go too far over the line of political correctness for me to be comfortable. But that's a lot of 80s punk for you.

So I guess you could say I have mixed feelings about the Vandals. I picked up this particular record at a garage sale for a buck this summer. I had only ever heard the title track at that point, which is a pretty hilarious holiday-themed spoof on oi punk. Even though I've never really liked the later iterations of the Vandals as a band, I've always liked that song, so I picked it up. And... I have mixed feelings about it.

Oi to the World features some pretty hilarious holiday punk tunes. Similar to the title track, for example, "I Don't Believe in Santa Claus" is a send up of a punk sub-genre, in this case English anarcho-punk. The drums are all snare rolls and the vocalist takes on a thick (fake) British accent as he shouts out anti-capitalist cliches and denounces Christmas. Other tracks feature themes that would be familiar to most people who grew up celebrating Christmas--dealing with family members you don't really like, not getting the gifts you hoped for, people who are so obsessed with having the perfect Christmas that they end up ruining it for themselves and everyone else. They do it all to a pop-punk beat that's catchy and fun in small doses, but I wouldn't want to listen to all the time. A real stand-out track on the record, other than "Oi to the World" is the punk/metal version of "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies" from The Nutcracker. I don't know how to to describe it, other than to say that rocks, and I would happily listen to an entire Nutcracker album done in this style. Metal ballet? Who'd have thunk it?

As with the rest of the Vandals' catalogue though, there are a few tracks that go too far over the line of good taste for me. Lest you think I'm just a prude, I'll say up front that "Christmas Time for my Penis" is actually NOT one of these songs--I expected not to like that one, but actually, its pretty funny, because if you weren't paying close attention, you would think it was just a normal Christmas song that someone had written about a friend of family member who was having-ahem-a hard time during the holiday season. It hugs the line of bad taste but remains funny. On the other hand, "My First Christmas (As a Woman)," is a complete miss. It's not clever or funny, and seems a bit insensitive to the challenges faced by transgendered people. Their cover the of Yobs "C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S" is equally if not more tasteless, relying on entirely on cheap shock value for its supposed humour.

So, the final verdict? For a buck, this was a good purchase, if for no other reason than the title track and "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies." This record, however, is not for the easily offended, and features some tracks that make me push the "skip" button.

Here's the title track, if you want to check it out as well as "Dance of the Sugarplumb Fairies".

Total songs listened: 903

Bing Crosby: Merry Christmas

Review # 58
Artist: Bing Crosby
Title: Merry Christmas
Format: LP
Label: Decca
Year: 1945
Songs: 12







Hello, readers. I managed to get one more review in before the holiday. If Christmas records aren't your thing (and I understand if they aren't, believe me), rest assured, this is the last Christmas LP review for 2011.

Bing Crosby's Merry Christmas is one of the best known Christmas records ever. Released on Decca Records in 1945 as a collection of 78rpm discs, the album has never been out of print, a statement which can be made of few records. And for good reason--it's a masterfully executed record. I had a friend who would listen to it all year around. Bing is in top crooning form, and the two orchestras that appear on this record both perform the songs in style, whether the song is somber, dour, or swinging. The Andrews Sisters provide backing vocals on side two and make the record just feel like a perfect slice of the music of the 1940s. It's both a great representation of the time and also timeless.

The record seems to be divided into a somber side and fun side. Side A of the record features earnest and sometimes dour songs, often with religious themes. Christmas is, of course, for most people a religious holiday, so "Silent Night" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"  aren't really surprising selections. The one that is a bit more unusual is "Faith of Our Fathers," which, aside from from really bringing down the mood, is pretty awful in what it advocates. The song is about "our fathers" who, in spite of being killed and tortured in dungeons, retained their Christian beliefs. Which I guess is all well and good if you're a strong Christian. But what's really terrible about it is that expresses the desire for these fathers' children (i.e. ourselves) to be similarly martyred: "Oh how sweet would be their children's fate if they, like them, could die for thee." Yikes. Martyrdom is not something I would ever wish on anyone. Wouldn't it be better to wish that no one, anywhere, ever has to go through "dungeons, fire and sword?" Wouldn't that be more in the spirit of the holiday? In any case, this particular song makes me want to turn off the record and put on the Subhumans' "Religious Wars" instead.

On the other hand though, side A also includes Crosby's version of "White Christmas," which is arguably the definitive version of this song. A dour holiday classic in which the narrator dreams of a snowy Christmas, just like the ones he used to know. Having spent my early childhood in a place where winter consistently meant snow and white Christmases were not the exception, I can understand. This song always evokes memories of building a snowman in the front yard, jumping off my parents' deck into deep piles of snow, and then coming inside to sit by the fire and drink hot cider. Here in Seattle, this sort of thing is a lot less common, and although I've lived in western Washington for over two decades now, I've never stopped missing those snowy winters that Bing longs for in this song.

Before I get any soppier, let's turn briefly to side B, the "fun" side of the record. This side of the record is upbeat, through and through. Many of the songs, as previously mentioned feature the Andrews Sisters, and most of the songs also feature a different orchestra from side A. While I'm not familiar with other work by either one, the Vic Schoen orchestra on side B really shines. They give us swinging, jazzy versions of songs like "Jingle Bells" and "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" that are reminiscent of Count Basie's work. Side B features what I would probably consider the best version of "Jingle Bells" I've ever heard, rivalled perhaps only by Frank Sinatra's version. The Andrews Sisters' unique backing vocals really make this one distinctive and fun.

If you're one of those folks who hates Christmas music, you probably won't be able to get behind this record. And that's fine. I don't really know why I like it, but I do. And if you're going to listen to Christmas music, it's hard to beat Bing Crosby's Merry Christmas.

I'll leave off here with link to "White Christmas," the song this record is probably best known for.

Happy Holidays to you and yours from 30,000 Songs.

Total songs listened: 731

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Christmas with the Chipmunks

Review # 57
Artist: Alvin and the Chipmunks
Title: Christmas with the Chipmunks
Format: LP
Label: Liberty Records
Year: 1962
Songs: 12




Long before computer animated chipmunks were singing Lady Gaga songs in endless, terrible film sequels, Alvin, Simon, Theodore, and Dave Seville were already holiday favorites in America. The Chipmunks first Christmas LP was a tremendously successful record, for a novelty act. Its best known track "The Chipmunk Song" (better known in some circles as "Christmas Don't Be Late" or simply "that songs where Alvin wants a hula hoop") was the Chipmunks' only #1 single, and won three Grammy awards (best comedy record, best children's record, and best engineering on a non-classical record) in 1958. The record has sold hundreds of thousands of copies and has been reissued and repackaged numerous times in multiple formats. Beloved by many as a piece of classic kitsch and maligned by others as a shrill, corny irritation, Christmas with the Chipmunks may be the best known novelty record of all time.

Readers who have been with this blog since the beginning may have by now noted that I have an awful lot of Chipmunks LPs, so it should come as no surprise that I like this record. I love kitcshy, silly, novelty music, and if you are like me in that respect, Christmas with the Chipmunks is just ridiculous upbeat fun all the way through. As was the case in Urban Chipmunk, this record sees Dave Seville trying to make the rambunctious chipmunks toe the line as a respectable singing group, while our rodent friends (and especially Alvin) have other ideas. Alvin's penchant for turning the songs' lyrics into dramatic monologues repeatedly gets him in trouble for "over-acting," with Dave frequently admonishing Alvin and co. to "just sing!" This conflict arises right away on the song's opening number "Here Comes Santa Claus," and continues to be an issue on "Over the River and Through the Woods" and "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas." Why Dave puts up with the chipmunks is unclear. After so many conflicts like this, and given the debatable merits of the chipmunks' vocal abilities, one is left wondering why Dave carries on trying to make them a proper musical act.

Unlike other Chipmunk records, this album sees Dave playing a more active role in singing the songs himself. He takes the lead on "Silver Bells" and sings "White Christmas" entirely on his own, aside from a conversation with Alvin in which he bemoans the lack of snow this year. Rest assured, Dave's sorrow is short lived, as Alvin chimes in at the end of the song to alert him to some festive precipitation. This record also features a cameo from none other than Rudolph (the red-nosed reindeer) who sings the song about himself in the first person. The voice is a clear imitation of the Rankin & Bass Christmas special, and sounds in particular like the part of the story in which Rudolph is trying to cover his embarrassing nose with a piece of clay and constantly sounds like he has a cold.

Probably the best known track on this record is the aforementioned "Chipmunk Song." This is both the only original song on the record, and the one in which Dave (aka Ross Bagdasarian) makes the greatest effort to actually differentiate his voice as he performs each of the three chipmunk voices. My record player has a 16 rpm setting (although I've never seen a record that plays at this speed), and it's fun to play this song at that speed, because you can hear three tracks of Dave, talking and singing very slowly and trying to make his voice sound like three different voices, in combination with the "real" Dave voice, which slowed to half speed sounds like some terrible beast. My friend referred to this as the "Three Dave Seville's and a Bear" version of the song. While this song is one I like to hear at normal speed at least once every December, having the vinyl gives me the added benefit hearing what the Chipmunks' voices sounded like when Dave/Ross actually recorded them.

If by some unlikely chance you haven't heard "The Chipmunk Song" before, you can listen to it here, complete with old, cheap children's animation that shows you what shenanigans our rodent friends got up to while recording this unlikely number one hit.


Total songs listened: 719

The Beach Boys: The Beach Boys' Christmas Album

Review # 56
Artist: The Beach Boys
Title: The Beach Boys' Christmas Album
Format: LP
Label: Capitol Records
Year: 1964
Songs: 12






Happy Holidays, 30,000 Songs readers!

Sorry about the long delay since my last post. I've been travelling and otherwise very busy for a while and only today have I had enough time for it to occur to me to write a post. I'm going to try to do a couple of holiday record reviews this week, and return with some classic hardcore next week.

The Beach Boys' Christmas Album is a record that my wife and I picked up at the Fremont Sunday Market around this time last year. This record is full of the Beach Boys' distinctive harmonies as they perform original songs like "Little Saint Nick" and "The Man With All the Toys" and Christmas classics like "Santa Claus is Comin' To Town" and "Frosty the Snowman."  I'm not the biggest Beach Boys fan, truth be told, but I like them in small doses. Maybe that's part of why I really like side one of this record, but by the end of side two have had enough. Side one is full of upbeat tunes, mostly their originals, that showcase the harmony intensive take on the Chuck Berry sound that made the band famous. If you like the Beach Boys and don't hate Christmas music, there's really nothing not to like here. These are all the songs you hear on oldies radio stations in December.

Side two, aside from maybe just being more Beach Boys songs than I need in a row, is just less fun. They save all the slow numbers for this side of the record--it begins with a version of "We Three Kings" that drags so much, it feels like my record player is on the wrong speed.  It's twice as long as anything on side one and juuuuuusssst drrrraaaaaaaaags. Even the version of "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town," a song which is typically an upbeat number, on side two of this record feels sort of flat or sad or something. It's sandwiched between "Blue Christmas" and "White Christmas," and I think is meant to pick up the mood a bit between those two rather dour Christmas songs, but it doesn't really clear the bar.

The one moment on side two that really cracks me up is the very end. Like many Christmas albums, this one ends with a rendition of New Year's favorite "Auld Lang Syne." At the very end of the song, the band gets turned down in the mix and Dennis Wilson gets on the mic to wish all the listeners at home a happy holiday season. And he stumbles over his words: "we hope you will treasure it the way we do, and if you hap... happen to be listening to this album right now...." Now, this could hap... happen to anybody, but seriously, why didn't they do another take? Did they have a midnight deadline to get the record done in order to get it in stores in time from Christmas? By 1964, there really isn't an excuse for this sort of thing from a famous band on a major record label. They weren't exactly recording on wax cylinders. It just feels too sloppy for the Beach Boys, and it makes me laugh, every time.

Check it out: "Auld Lang Syne"

Total songs listened: 707

Manheim Steamroller: Halloween

Review # 50
Artist: Manheim Steamroller
Title: Halloween
Format: CD (x2)
Label: American Gramaphone (sic)
Year: 2003
Songs/tracks: 23






So I'm obviously getting out of order here, but in honor of the holiday, I thought I'd go ahead and review this. It's the only thing in my collection that can really be described as a Halloween album. There's some Misfits stuff, but as good as that is at Halloween, I'll listen to them any time of year, so I won't call it holiday music and I'll get to them in their proper alphabetical turn. Some other stuff is debateable, like the Ghostbusters soundtrack or a record of someone reading Edgar Allen Poe stories, but this is the only self-labled Halloween record in my collection

If you've ever heard of Manheim Steamroller before, it's almost certainly because of their new-agey synthesizer heavy Christmas albums, popular in the 1980s and early 1990s. The Christmas records are pretty corny, but they're also tied up with a lot of fond memories from my childhood, because my parents had the first two. So, while I don't like them, I like them anyway, if that makes any sense. The band has released several non-holiday albums in their Fresh Aire series which I frequently see at thrift stores, but I've never heard any of them and I don't think many people have. I was very surprised a few years ago when I learned that they were both still producing music and had a Halloween album (indeed, looking at Wikipedia, it appears they have more than one).

A few years back, my friends and I used to play what we called "Junk Poker," a game which was identical to regular poker, except instead of betting money or chips, we all brought piles of knickknacks we had laying around to use as bets. Part of the fun was negotiating the value of the different items ("Is that a raise or a call?" "No, I think you need to put more on the table than that," etc.). The night would finish up and someone would have cleaned their basement while someone else would be going home with a pile of items of varying quality and value, some of which might show up again the next time we played. I ended up with some cool stuff this way, and also was forced to make some runs to Goodwill to donate huge piles of other people's junk on some occasions. This cd was something I won in one of those games, and mostly out of curiosity, I kept it.

This album is comprised of two discs: one featuring "spooky" synthesizer music, and the other featuring 10 tracks of atmospheric sound effects (sometimes with occasional synthesizer notes). And before you ask, yes, I did listen to both discs from beginning to end for this review.

Let's start with the sound effect disc. It's fairly typical of Halloween sound effects collections. You could play it at your haunted house/Halloween party and nobody would give you a hard time about it. The disc features ten tracks of sound effects that include "Alien Spaceship," "Ghost Voices," and three variations on "Enchanted Forrest" which, to me, all sound exactly the same and all use the exact same echoing wolf howl several times. Spooky backward whispering in "The Other Side" makes it the creepiest of all the tracks, while the funniest is definitely "the Mountain King." I don't know if the king is supposed sound scary, but he sounds more like he's got really severe gas pains. He grunts and groans in what sounds like tremendous discomfort for over three and a half minutes. It's quite hilarious. "The Mountain King" was the only track on this disc that actually distracted me from working on my dissertation because I couldn't stop laughing at that poor mountain king. Someone should get him some Gas-X.

The music disc is just bad.  It starts with "rockin'" version of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, the famous organ music you hear in so many Halloween related movies, but played on a synthesizer without enough sustain. Then the synth drums kick in and it gets very silly very fast. This disc is mostly made up of tunes you'd probably be familiar with, "deranged" by Chip Davis of Manheim Steamroller. Their version of "The Flying Dutchman" stands out because it's super dramatic. It reminds me of low budget version of Lord of the Rings Soundtrack.There's also a Nutcracker-esque version of the Alfred Hitchcock Presents theme song, "Rite of Twilight," which riffs on Twilight Zone theme, and version of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" from Fantasia, all played in that silly synthesizer-heavy style that made Manheim Steamroller so popular in the late '80s. The disc also features few original tunes by Chip Davis like "Rock & Roll Graveyard," which is even worse than the covers. I guess if you're seriously a fan of their Christmas music and are planning to throw a Halloween party, you might like this, but otherwise, Manheim Steamroller's Halloween is really only good for a few chuckles, as far as I'm concerned. Also, they apparently don't know how to spell "gramophone."

Happy Halloween!

Total songs listened: 633